False advertising

I was feeling terrible last week, I had a runny nose, sore throat, stuffy head the lot.

I went to the Co-Op and they had one box of cold medicine left - it said all in one capsules, I thought perfect.

Got home read the directions on the back:

All in one capsules, take two.

Hair dry

Swine flu - definition - when pigs fly.

Straight up

Deliverance was on the box the other day there. Never seen it before though I've Sky plus'd it and will watch it. It's an often cited movie - just a few whistled notes from Duelling Banjos and everyone knows what you mean - though I'm not sure how many people have actually seen it. I'll let you know what I think of it.

Brokeback Mountain is another one that gets mentioned in many a gay context, though again I've never seen this movie, which must make me straight. Phew, don't want to get caught in a gay context. I'm not that bothered about either of these movies being used in this way, I kinda find it interesting though. The other thing I find interesting is the title 'Brokeback Mountain' - which remember, is about a gay relationship. What if it was about two lesbians - would it have been called 'Carpetburn Creek'?

Lazy blogs

I'm going to set myself a challenge to post once a week as I've done hee haw lately. There really should be a term for folk who set up a blog, go mental for the first week or so and then succumb to post excuses about how they have been busy and will post more. Answers on a postcard to comments below...

More shoe outrage...

... this time at Israel's treatment of Gaza: some protesters have taken to hurling their shoes through the gates at Downing Street. That dude that horsed his gutties at Bush has set a trend that sees shares in Clark's sky rocket in otherwise trying economic times.

Good on them I say, and I love the picture of the aftermath. I can only hope that the walk home was broken glass and dog cack free.

I used to sell shoes in a swanky department store in Edinburgh. We sold toffs' brogues for hundreds of pounds a pop though we also catered for neds who, at the time, liked Timberland boots and Rockports. They liked quality nubuck waterproof footwear to boot the hell out of one another.

The neds were a pain in the hump, who'd have thought, as they used to deliberately sabotage the boots when they started to look a bit shabby, and get another pair for nothing due to the warranty. We'd tolerate this once but I can remember one guy coming in after taking scissors to his second pair. We took his boots and said yes we'd send them back. He said ok, can I have a new pair. Turns out that day we didn't have his size, in anything, other than a fit up job. He got his money back and walked out onto Rose Street in his Ralph Lauren socks. My did we laugh at that.

Solution for Gaza: take all the shoes thrown in protests around the world, stitch them all together and make a giant shoe. Drop this bugger from space on Israel. Let them know how it feels to be treated like something you would scrape off your shoe.

And in the news...

One from the BBC:

America's CIA has found a novel way to gain information from fickle Afghan warlords - supplying sex-enhancing drug Viagra, a US media report says.

The Washington Post said it was one of a number of enticements being used.

The pills were explained and offered. Four days later the agents returned.

"He came up to us beaming," the Post quoted an agent as saying. "He said, 'You are a great man.'

"And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area."

The pills could put chieftains "back in an authoritative position", another official said.

Yes, that would be missionary I believe.

Above text in bold is lifted from here.

Shoenobi

Did you see the Iraqi guy who threw his shoes at George Bush? You can see it on the BBC.

This guy meant business, if old Dubya hadn't of ducked he'd have got them both, right in the chops.

"This is a farewell kiss, you dog," he yelled in Arabic as he threw his shoes. "This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."

Talk about pay back. I just hope those weren't no desert sandals. I mean for widows and orphans were talking at least a steel toe cap or a heavy brogue that's just been moon walked through dog keich.