False advertising

I was feeling terrible last week, I had a runny nose, sore throat, stuffy head the lot.

I went to the Co-Op and they had one box of cold medicine left - it said all in one capsules, I thought perfect.

Got home read the directions on the back:

All in one capsules, take two.

Hair dry

Swine flu - definition - when pigs fly.

Bumps a Daisy

According to the BBC News a man in Cumbria has been accused of killing his wife, by running over her with a tractor.

Presumably he was left a 'Dear John' letter, and he then decided to run over her with his John Deere.